Harvest

I love this time of year, the misty mornings giving way to blue skies, the still warm days but far fewer people on the beach; the woody scent of bonfires mixing with the last of the barbeques, and free food dripping from every hedgerow.

With what seemed to be an ever-shrinking budget fresh fruit was one of the first victims on my shopping list, brutally culled to ensure we weren't running out of things to eat two days before pension day. As a result, the arrival of blackberry season as been greeted with even more joy than usual, and not just the blackberries. Hips and haws, elderberries, rowan, even a few early sloes.... there has hardly been a day when I haven't been out walking the footpaths and lanes around here, filling my freezer (and our stomachs) to overflowing.

 

Hubby is particularly fond of blackberry crumble. So far none have made it as far as the freezer, I think I shall have to start making those in secret. Blackberry muffins are another favourite, although they are my weakness not his. Elderberry cordial, rosehip syrup...my kitchen is likely to be a hive of activity for weeks to come as I find as many ways to preserve all that berry goodness as I can. All too soon the cold weather will be here, and the hedgerow abundance will be over for another year, but if I plan this right and harvest what I can now, preserve as much as I can, we should have plenty to see us through the dark months.

Live Below The Line? That's My Life!

I've been reading with interest, and in some cases amusement, many of the stories this last week of those participating in the Live Below The Line Challenge. It's all in aid of a good cause, so please don't think when I say 'amusement' that I have in any way been laughing in a condescending way at their attempts to exist on £5's worth of food for five days, because I haven't. For many of those taking part it has been extremely tough and I think it has seriously opened a few eyes. Sometimes I wished I could just say to someone 'No, no, you're doing it all wrong. Look, just put all that food you bought aside and start again, and I'll show you how it's done'. But of course I couldn't, because firstly, I don't know these people, and well, that would rather defeat the object in the first place.

 

It was made harder, I think, by the fact it was only a five day challenge. £5 for five days is much more limiting than say £7 for seven days or £10 for ten days. Five measly pounds doesn't give you much variety. It will should have been a little easier for those taking part as a couple, or a family as they will have had more money to play with in the first place. It will still have been an unpleasant five days for many though.

 

£1 a day for food doesn't seem very much does it? There has been quite a bit in the media recently about how much is needed for food in order to survive, and depending on which newspaper you read the amount can vary quite wildly. The BBC says £12 a week is enough to provide a healthy diet. Damn right it is! That's the maximum I spend to feed two of us. If we had that each we'd be eating like kings :) Upon reading the article however, I find the terms 'with careful planning' and 'theoretically it is possible' and the chart they give as an example is based on a £15 spend not a £12 spend. As it is, I usually spend between £10 and £12 a week actually on food. The supermarket receipt reads slightly more than that, but by the time you've taken off things like loo rolls, tooth paste and shampoo, the food itself comes in at less than £12. For two of us. Less than £6 each. That's is less than the £1 a day that even the Daily Mail says you can 'survive' on.

 

Now don't you go worrying about the state of my diet, because I'm here to tell you I eat just fine. Last night we enjoyed a lovely chicken salad made with chicken breast. Later I made biscuits on a 'whim' to surprise my husband who had dozed off in front of the TV. This morning I had a banana before I went out for my run and egg on toast when I got back. For lunch I had homemade chicken liver pate with crackers and salad, and for tea tonight we'll be having a sausage casserole. I browned off a few Aldi frozen sausages this morning and popped them into the slow cooker with a stock cube, sliced onions, two tins of chopped tomatoes, the ends of a few bags of frozen veg that I wanted to clear out and a rather rubbery looking carrot I found hiding in the back of the fridge (nothing gets wasted here). I'll probably serve it with hubby's favourite, mashed potato, which means there will be more than enough for either tomorrow, or to go in the freezer. I may even add a tin of sweetcorn to it. Does that sound like an impoverished diet to you?

 

I'm not going to pretend that it is easy, because it is not. It has taken a long time of trial and error to get to this stage. There are times when I walk around the supermarket fighting back tears, and times too when I am unable to fight them back and I'm stood in the dairy isle sobbing, with other customers and staff doing their best to pretend not to notice (for which I am eternally grateful! If ever you see me, I will not think you harsh or callous if you don't ask if I'm OK, I'll just be relieved I don't have to talk). There have been times when I have fed my husband and gone without, pretending to him I feel sick so he doesn't question why I'm only nibbling on dry cream crackers. There have been times when I have made three days food last a week; when I've picked mould off the bread and toasted it in the hope it would taste OK that way; when I've cut squishy bits off vegetables to save the little bit that was OK; when I've lived off bread and jam; when I thought I'd never taste fresh fruit again...

 

It is thoroughly depressing, and demoralising, when you see only day after day after day of that kind of existence, especially when only a short time before you were a two income household spending as much in one week on food as you now spend in a month. It is easy to allow it to drag you down, to get into  a spiral of depression, but you have to fight that, you have to keep on keeping on. You have to get up bright and early each morning with a smile on your face, even if you don't feel like smiling, and you have to find a way to get by. You have to hope that there is an end to all this even if there isn't one in sight, because it will destroy you if you don't.

 

You learn to take pleasure in simple things. You find cheaper ways of doing or making the things you used to take for granted. You scrimp and scrimp, because you can't possibly save, and you get by. You find recipes, or invent them. You discover the wonders of cooking bacon and lemon curd and you forget you ever heard of such a thing as free range eggs. You sacrifice your green principles to make your grey world a little brighter, and you thank your lucky stars that you haven't yet resorted to taking the advice the Duke of Norfolk once suggested to ease the suffering of the starving masses during the Irish Potato Famine and added curry powder to hot water in place of food.  

Pure Indulgence 15p

Mandarin & Pineapple Meringue

Probably not the most attractive looking dessert you've ever seen, but it may well be one of the most indulgent, and certainly calorific, that you are likely to have. Best of all (as long as you are sensible and restrained, and not greedy little piggies like we were) it serves 12 making it perfect for a dinner party or celebration (piping the meringue would pretty it up no end -I liked the random chaos of just splodging it on, besides, my piping bag has gone awol) and brings the cost in at 15p per portion.

I've been meaning to post this up all week but life just sort of ran away with me. This is the dessert I made when my step-daughter and her husband visited last weekend. As they had promised to bring beer and pizza (rare treats), it was only fair that I provided pudding, and as I'd got quite a stash of egg whites in the freezer, meringue was the obvious choice.

I think I may have mentioned before, my hubby detests eggs whites on fried eggs and as he's rather partial to egg on toast I collect far more than my fair share of egg whites. I am on a permanant mission to discover new and interesting ways to use them (suggestions very welcome). Thankfully they freeze very well.

 

A quick rumage through my cupboards revealed a tin of mandarins and a tin of pineapple chunks, maybe not my prefered choice, but they'd do and step-daughter promised me she'd pick up some double cream. It was all coming together nicely.

Mandarin and Pineapple Indulgence

All prices rounded to the nearest penny

6 egg whites 24p* (Aldi 15 eggs £1.35)
300g sugar 26p (Aldi 1kg 85p)
1 can pineapple chunks, drained 20p (Morrison's Savers 20p)
1 can broken mandarin segments 23p (Morrison's Savers 23p)
20g lemon curd 1p (411g Morrison's Savers 22p)
300ml pot double cream 85p (Aldi 85p)
1 tablespoon Cornflour 1p (Aldi 400g 55p)
Total cost £1.80     Serves 12 at 15p per portion

* I've costed the egg whites as half an egg each as I'd already used the yolk.

Pre heat oven to gas mark 2 (150C)

Whip egg whites until light and fluffy then gradually stir in the sugar and continue to whisk until thick and glossy and forming stiff peaks. Stir in cornflour.

Spoon or pipe mixture onto a baking tray lined with a sheet of greaseproof paper. I used a circular shape for simplicity but you could use any I suppose. When you have your circle about an inch thick, pipe or spoon extra dollops (that's a technical term, don't ya know) around the edge creating a central well for the fruit and cream once it's cooked.

Bake on a low shelf at gas mark 2 (150C) for one hour, the turn down the heat to gas mark 1(140C) for a further 2 hours. This gives you a meringue that is a lovely golden colour, crisp on the outside but still slightly gooey in the middle. If you prefer yours softer or crunchier just adjust the timings.

Once baked, turn off the oven and LEAVE IN OVEN to cool. This helps to reduce cracking. I forgot, as you can probably tell from the picture.

When completely cool, whip your cream until it forms soft peaks and gently stir through the lemon curd. Spoon the cream and fruit into the meringue casing in as pretty or haphazzard way as you prefer.

 

It went down very well, and we still have quite a bit in the freezer all portioned up but I'm trying to forget it's there. Tasty it may be, innocent it isn't!

You could, of course, use any fruit. I just used what I had in my cupboards as it was all done on rather short notice but I think it would work well with most things. I fancy raspberries, although if I make it again I'll probably make much less of it, it's just too much of  a temptation ;)

Thank You For Your Concern, It Means a Lot

Over the last few weeks I've become increasingly aware that many people are concerned about how we are managing. Some have been people who read this blog and have heard about the changes hitting us financially; others have been family who have seen behind the smiles designed to keep my worries from them; some have been friends who have read between the cheerful lines I put on facebook, or recognised that edge in my voice that says 'I don't really want to talk about it but I'm almost ready to scream'.

 

People generally react in one of two ways, either there is an almost imperceptible nod of recognition as they see in my eyes the same haunted look that stares back from the bathroom mirror each morning, (just before they launch into tales of having dry cream crackers for tea or how there is only 18p left on their electric meter, confident they are talking to a kindred spirit) or they ask with deep concern if you've taken advice, and double checked that you're receiving all you are entitled to because they cannot believe that, in this day and age, anyone could be left to struggle so much. I can't believe it either, but this is how it is. Not just for me, but for many. Thousands. Up and down the country there are people, families, who can't afford to live. It's not like it because we're somehow missing out on something we're entitled to but because we are having to pay more and more and more out of the bare minimum we get to live on and, eventually, something has to give.

For those of you fortunate enough to have never experienced having to claim something like Jobseekers Allowance or ESA, when you are first awarded whichever benefit you receive, you get a letter. Somewhere in that letter it will tell you how much little you will be getting each week, followed by the words 'this is the amount the law says you need to live on'. When my husband's war pension went up by the grand sum of £1.26 (or thereabouts) the exact same amount was taken off the small amount of ESA he receives to top up that pension to what the law decrees we can live on. Heaven forbid we might have been £1.26 better off. And yet the cost of living spirals ever upwards. The gap between living and barely existing is getting wider. It isn't only impacting on the unemployed of course, those on low wages are in the same boat, it's just that right now I'm viewing things, albeit unwillingly, from the position of being a dependant of someone ESA.

 

If you haven't already, read Hunger Hurts by Jack Monroe on her fantastic blog A Girl Called Jack. It was written last summer and, thankfully, life is on the up for her now but for many others this is still an everyday reality. It is a reality that feels like it has no end. A reality where desperation is a constant companion and hunger is always waiting in the wings. For the thousands in the welfare system, it feels the light at the end of the tunnel really is the lights of the oncoming train.

 

That is how the recent, and the imminent, changes to benefits feel, like we've just been hit by the 9.25 from Waterloo. And the 6.15 from Paddington. And the... well you get the idea.

 

I'm not saying the benefit system didn't need changing, because it did. It was chaotic and confusing and full of cracks. However what it is being replaced with is doing more harm than good, damaging the poorest and most vulnerable in our society at a time when they are truly on their knees. Despite what certain factions of the media would have us believe (yes, Daily Mail, I mean you, although you are not the only one) the vast majority of people on benefits DO NOT WANT TO BE. Seriously, who in their right mind would live this way by choice? Yes, there are those who abuse the system, just as there are big corporations who avoid paying tax, and politicians who fiddle their expenses, but that does not mean that every big corporation isn't paying their dues or that every M.P is corrupt. I'm tired of being tarred with the 'scrounger' brush. I'm tired of feeling like a second class citizen. I'm glad I can't afford to buy a newspaper because some days, most days just lately it seems, the headlines make me want to cry.

My husband fought for this country, he has worked hard throughout his life, working long hours, taking every scrap overtime to provide for his family. He has paid his taxes and avoided claiming benefits at all costs, even during brief periods of unemployment when he was perfectly entitled to, until he really had no other choice. Now that money the 'law says' we need to live on has been effectively cut by the changes to housing and council tax benefit.

It is taking it's toll. Already we are feeling the pinch and it is only going to get worse. A few days ago I paid this week's rent and this month's instalment of council tax. The council tax was paid, at least in part, by my mum, although she doesn't know it. She sent us a bit of money to 'get ourselves something nice' for Easter. I couldn't think of anything nicer than the peace of mind that comes with knowing I haven't got to worry about it this month. I don't know where I'd have found it from otherwise, but even so it's still left us short. There is no fruit or veg this week, I needed potatoes and toilet rolls. I made decisions like that over and over as I walked dismally around the supermarket, paring back the shopping like never before. I've defrosted the freezer and unplugged it. No point in wasting electricity on it when it's empty anyway.

But I would like to reassure everyone that yes, we are getting everything we can. My husband sat down and went through it all with his employment adviser, who in turn got a nice lady at the CAB to do a benefits check independently for us, just to make sure he hadn't missed anything. I am thankful for your concern, at a time when those on benefits are being slated everywhere I turn, it means a lot to know that some people don't fall for the propaganda, and that some people still care.

WE WILL MANAGE, somehow, because we have no choice. We get up each morning, like everyone else, and do the very best we can.



 

Fry-Up Treat For A Lazy Saturday (48p per person)

First of all I'd like to say thank you and welcome to all my new followers :) It's lovely to have you stop by.

What a glorious day today is! After so many days of cold and grey it is fabulous to see the sun. I know it's still cold outside, but I'm sitting here beside my window basking in the heat through the glass feeling like it really is spring after all, and that does my heart good.

 

We had a very lazy start to the morning; a phone call in the early hours from one of the offspring meant we were both still shattered. Fortunately, in the grand scheme of things, it had been nothing serious but when you are young these little knocks and bumps in life seem like the end of the world so some parental TLC and serious cheering up had been needed which meant sleep hadn't figured too highly in our night. Had it been as grey this morning as previous mornings I may have been tempted to just pull the duvet over my head and go back to sleep, but waking to find sun streaming through our windows seemed such a novelty it was a shame to waste it.

 

In truth I probably wasn't really tired enough to go back to sleep, tired enough to not want to get up, but more sleep would just have made me feel groggy for the rest of the day. As it was we threw open the curtains to let the sun in, made a mug of coffee and just snuggled in bed talking for an hour or two. About serious stuff, fun stuff, frivolous stuff, memories...it was a lovely way to pass the time once I'd managed to shake the feeling of guilt and laziness about still being in bed.

 

It took hubby to point out it was a BANK HOLIDAY WEEKEND and we really had nothing we needed to be doing. That's the thing with not going out to work, after a while one day seems much like the next and things like weekends and holidays drift by unnoticed. Not that I paid much attention to weekends or bank holidays when I was working either, I worked in tourism so they were my busiest days. A bank holiday to me just meant extra work!

 

I'd almost forgotten about Easter completely until I nipped into Morrison's on Thursday. I'd done most of my weekly shop in Aldi the day before (spending a grand total of £11.26) but there were still one or two things I needed like bleach, cooking bacon and hubby's denture glue (I'm glad he doesn't read this, he won't thank me for mentioning that!) that I needed to get elsewhere. It was absolutely manic in there. I wondered for a moment what on earth was going on, people were spending like the shops were all going to close in an hour, never to re-open again! Then it dawned on me. I've never really understood the shopping frenzy that goes hand in hand with Christmas, but I understand it even less for Easter. I don't remember it ever being like that when I was a child.

 

I did worry for a brief moment, 'Oh, it's Easter weekend and we won't have anything special' and then I thought 'Don't be such a Muppet!' We'll still have some nice things, but they'll be things I can make with the basic ingredients we've got in and I know we won't feel deprived at all.

 

I certainly didn't feel deprived this morning. After our lazy lie in my husband said that it was a shame he couldn't have a fry up, cooked breakfasts and lazy lie ins go hand in hand after all ;)

 

Well, I couldn't let that go now could I? I had a quick think and I was sure I could put something together, it wouldn't quite be the 'full english' but it would still be good and after the stresses of the last few weeks maybe a 'blow out' would do us good.

 

What really amazed me was how little it cost to do.

 

75g Bacon, 1 sausage, 2 eggs, spoonful of tomatoes, 1 slice of fried bread for 48p and to be honest if I were to do it again, I'd cook less, it was a bit too much for me. Just taking one egg off would drop the cost to 39p, losing the sausage as well takes it down to 29p! Bargain!!!

 

So how did I do it?

*note. Portion prices have been rounded up or down to the nearest penny as appropriate for ease of calculation (my maths is atrocious).

 

To Serve 2

 

150g Cooking Bacon (Morrison's Savers 81p for 500g) 24p

2 Irish recipe sausages (Asda £2 for 20 - I actually think I paid less than that as they've been in the back of my freezer for ages, but this is the current price) 20p

4 eggs (Aldi £1.35 for 15) 36p

1/3 tin plum tomatoes (Aldi 31p) 10p

25 ml Cooking Oil (Poundland £1 for 750ml) 1p

2 slices bread (Aldi Everyday Essentials 22 slice loaf 50p) 4p

Tomato ketchup (Morrison's Savers 40p for 550g) 1p

 

That's a total cost of 96p for two delicious fried breakfasts.

 

As we sat down at our table with what looked like a slap up feast in front of us, it felt like the height of luxury. It didn't matter that the bacon wasn't in 'proper' rashers but instead in bits and chunks, it didn't matter that the eggs weren't organic, or the sausages from the local butcher, all that mattered was that as we shared that meal we felt like we were having a real, once in a blue moon, treat and it cost less than a pound for the two of us.

 

*Thinking about it, it cost fractionally less than I've said as hubby doesn't like fried egg whites so I separated his eggs before I cooked them. The egg whites will be making meringue nests for a special pudding tomorrow. Bonus :)

27p in My Purse

That's it folks, I'm literally down to pennies. There is the grand sum of 27p in my purse. I'm almost giddy with excitement, trying to decide what to spend it on!

I shouldn't complain (I shouldn't, but I'm going to so if you want to back away now quietly, I'll understand, just close the door behind you please, it gets cold in here otherwise). There is food in my kitchen cupboards, not a lot but there are things I can work with, there might be some strange meals and odd combinations but I'll keep us both fed until pension day. I have gas and electric on my meters, and neither of them are on 'emergency'....yet. I have paid this week's water instalment on time and although the car got us home on fumes last night, we had managed to put just enough diesel in to enable us to run our errands (unless I count the car being serviced today, I had to call and cancel that as we just couldn't get there).

 

We have managed, with the meagre funds we get, to pay everything that needs to be paid and buy some fairly basic food. We have done those things, without wasting money on fripperies, or eating out, or buying newspapers or magazines. We haven't had a drink, or bought new clothes, or gone to the cinema. We haven't put money on the phone, or posted birthday cards, or even posted my Mum's Mother's Day present which I bought in the January sales for £1.49 and now can't afford to send. We haven't done these things and yet I still only have 27p left in my purse.

 

We have done what we needed to do to survive, not to live, and yet somehow from April we have to find an extra £70 a month.

 

From where?

 

Suggestions on a postcard please.

 

We knew we were getting stung with the 'bedroom tax' and had pretty much resigned ourselves to a difficult few months at least. We did talk about moving to a smaller property but discounted the idea for several reasons. We do actually use the 'spare' room. If hubby gets his business off the ground like he hopes he's going to need that space as his office/craft area. We have good neighbours. We can't face moving again, and well, this is our home. Life has been pretty grotty for the last few years but we've done our best to make this place a comfy, cosy retreat for us where we feel safe. when we moved here we didn't expect to have to move again, ever. Not to mention the fact that there are no where near enough one bed properties available to accommodate all those who wish to downsize.

 

After giving it a lot of thought, and it really was a lot of thought, we decided to stay put and find the extra money somehow. If we cut back just a little bit on everything, we thought we could just about manage it. It would mean scrimping with the food shop and using the car less, using the phone only in emergencies (although that's pretty much what we do anyway). With the summer coming and less going on the gas and electric meters we thought we could do it, or buy ourselves a little time at least.

 

But then WHAM! Thudding through the letter box came a council tax bill.

 

Now, I knew the government were introducing changes which meant local councils would now be in charge of the way council benefit tax was administered....but, and here's the thing... I checked with them back in November and was told not to worry, it probably wouldn't affect us, and if it did they would let us know in ample time. So why was it that the first I knew about us no longer being entitled to full council tax benefit was when the bill dropped through the letter box a few days ago?

 

The combined effect of the 'bedroom tax' and council tax will be devastating. I don't see how we can do it. I've gone over and over the figures and I simply can't find an extra £70 a month no matter what I do. So with a very heavy heart I have registered us on the list to move. It could be months and months before something comes of that though.

 

And I'm job hunting again. Despite the fact that there are many days when hubby isn't well enough to be left alone. What other choice do we have?

 

 

A VERY Nasty Bug

I've been poorly, so very poorly, and although I'm up and about I'm still run down, tired, achy, queasy and generally bleuggghhh. Is that a word? Well it should be! Bleuggghhh is is just about right for how I feel.

 

I caught a bug, I don't know where, a nasty little vomiting bug that came on quite suddenly last Thursday. One minute I was feeling fine and enjoying the spring sunshine, the next I was yelling 'STOP THE CAR!' at my husband as I fought in vain with my breakfast. Sorry, was that a bit too much information? Thinking back I had been a bit cold and shivery the night before but that's not unusual in our flat so I didn't think too much about it, even though the heating was on and hubby wasn't cold. I woke feeling fine so the whole thing hit me like a bolt from the blue.

 

I spent three whole days in bed (I have NEVER done that in my life before). GP said there was nothing to do, just drink plenty of fluids....easier said than done! After about a day I was managing sips of water though so although it didn't feel like it I must have been improving. I managed to drag myself out of bed for a few hours on Sunday and I've got gradually better since but I still can't drink anything other than water without feeling queasy and most foods are more than I can face too. Fresh fruit is about the only thing I can eat that doesn't make me feel instantly ill, and even if I could afford a steady diet of fruit it's hardly going to build me up again is it?

 

I'm going to try a bowl of rice pudding later. My grandma always gave me that when I was poorly. It was her cure-all for everything, rice pudding and boiled lemonade! It's worth a try. Who am I to argue? Grandma knows best.